I have taken a very long hiatus from my blog. I had so much work to do on myself that I feel I didn’t have anything to put out into the world. A LOT has changed since I last have really posted–2.5 years ago!!
Starting from September of 2012–I sold my house, lived with one friend for a year, then another friend for another year, finally found a job close to where I wanted to live, officially moved to a rural setting, started another job closer to where I now lived, and living all of a life that goes in between all of those changes.
When I last wrote anything (December of 2013), I was off of work due to a leg injury and had not officially moved to the rural town I now live in. I was working in the city during the week and driving back every weekend to the town I had moved 90% of my belongings to.
In November of 2014, I quit my job in the city, officially moved and started my “new” life.
It still has not been easy, I’ve had a few minor physical issues that have set me back here and there (that I have already dealt with or am in the process of dealing with). Just because you change location and jobs, etc., you still take “you” with you. And, therefore, am still working through some depression and anxiety issues (that have been a lifelong issue really) that are improving as I learn more and more about self-care, self-love, self-respect, just “self”. I am also in the midst of DIY projects that are going to take probably up to 10 years (depending on time and finances), and my many, many, many other craft/artistic projects that I always have on the go.
Lately, I find myself with actually having feelings of happiness…this is the first in a very, very long time. Especially after my last (having had 2 previous ones earlier in life) “break down”–although it was my “break down” that led me to start looking at where my life needed to change. The first major change that I knew I NEEDED to do was to be surrounded more closely by nature and to not see so much concrete, to not smell so many city smells (cigarette smoke, exhaust fumes, etc.), and to be near water–I consider myself a water-baby, I could sit and stare at a body of water for hours and feel so at ease.
Spring has finally reached us here (fingers-crossed) in the prairies of Canada, although we have had teases of beautiful weather since the end of February. The “official start to summer” here in Canada, certainly Manitoba, is the May long weekend which is upon us in the next couple of days.
I’ve had a chance to spend time outside in the yard, working on my new raised garden, planning what plants and vegetables I’m going to put in the new garden as well as a couple of other gardens I have in the back yard. Even getting a chance to go out and just rake the winter off of the grass was wonderful.
I’ve also taken some time to do some work down at my cabin recently. The cabin was left empty for many, many years and is definately showing some wear and tear and there is much evidence of mice in the cabin so I have quite a bit of work to do on it, but am so looking forward to the time spent in nature–it’s in a very rural place, on a lake, and is a very rustic building. It’s small but cozy and I know I can make it into a sanctuary for me to spend my weekends at during the warmer seasons.
Also, in the past couple of years, I have done a lot of soul/self work (that continues, I think, for a lifetime). Specifically for me, it is that learning to love myself as I am–a “fat” woman in a society which is definitely anti-fat and very discriminated against people of size. So, I am slowly learning to love my body as it is–yes, I still wish it was smaller, but more importantly, I want it to be HEALTHY. And I know I can work on that, no matter what size I am.
I certainly have more to learn, but I hope to start sharing some of what I am still learning along this journey of mine…thanks for joining me on this journey.