Wishcast Wednesday – Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

Jamie Ridler’s Wishcast prompt this week is:  Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

Thinking, thinking…where is it I always wish I could have a “do over”?  Is my life too broad of an answer???

So many times, I wish I could have a “do over”, but only knowing what I know now.  I’m not sure that I wouldn’t do the same things, make the same choices/”mistakes”, if I hadn’t learned so much along the way.

So…I guess, when it really comes down to it–and it does pain me to say this–I would not start over…

I’m actually very surprised to see that in writing.  I can’t count the amount of time I have spent, wishing, “if only”:

  • if only I knew how beautiful I was, I would not have wasted it thinking I was ugly and “settling” for whatever emotionally detached guy pursued me.
  • if only I knew how smart I was, I would have continued on in University and received a degree.
  • if only I knew that my family, although they loved me, did not really know me, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying to meet their idea of who I was.  And I would not have accepted/believed the labels provided for me:  too sensitive, emotional, mentally ill, flaky, naive…
  • if only I knew that it was okay to be sensitive, emotional, flaky, I would have accepted myself so much sooner and not wasted time trying not to be.
  • if only I knew that I was creative/artistic as a young adult, I might have pursued a completely different path.
  • if only I hadn’t gained so much weight, I would have the energy to be pursing the life I want to live quicker.
  • if only I was better with my finances, I would be able to afford–whatever…

But…the most important thing is that I know all of that now!  I still have challenges accepting the above, and am still “improving”.  I still look in the mirror and say things that are not always nice about what I see there.  I still struggle when someone in my family rolls their eyes about something I say–I’ve had to learn to detach myself a bit, unfortunately, from my family.  I am becoming more and more creative every day and continue to learn more and more about myself

But, what I continue to learn is that we are each on our own path to self-discovery and that this is my path–and it’s all okay!!  Okay, I do struggle with that, even though I know it…

Now, as for creative projects, I do start over on those–but that’s the great thing, it’s okay to do that too–or even, dare I say it, chuck them!!  It all works out okay!

And, just because I collect quotes and this one is my current “mantra”, thought I’d share.  It seems appropriate…

For all that has been, “thanks”. 
For all that will be, “yes”.
– Dag Hammarskjold

Thank you!!

C.

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10 responses to “Wishcast Wednesday – Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

  1. >i love this post. i think a lot of us can resonate with many things you said. as Ceanne wishes for herself, i wish for her also.

  2. >Dear Ceanne…your post brought tears to my eyes. Do you have some cosmic mirror into my soul? Your list of what you would've done in your life was like reading my biography. I am also having to detach from my family in that i have always lived for them and not myself and after it all…they really do not know me. My authentic life now is one of self acceptance and creating boundries, which I never did before. I am sensitive and emotional and have been made fun of by my family for it..but, you know what? You are right! If we changed the gift of our being emotional, we would not experience things on a deeper level. I would not want that, either. It is like we have been given a rose with thorns…the thorns do not make the rose any less beautiful. We accept them both…thank you for this post. You are beautiful! As Ceanne wishes for herself, I soooo wish for her also!

  3. >This is gorgeous, Ceanne. I felt so much of this right along with you–so many of those things are on my own "if only" list!As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you as well.

  4. >Wow! That was a powerful read. Thank you for sharing it. As Ceanne wishes for herself, I wish for her as well!

  5. >Thank you, thank you, thank you for such nice comments.It's so great to be a part of a community who "gets" what I have to say. Thank you!!Bertie, your words brought tears to my eyes too.

  6. >That was a wonderfully, powerful post. I really appreciated your honesty and vulnerability. As you wish for yourself, I also wish for you.

  7. >Love your quote.So appropriate. As Ceanne wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. To me Fresh start – does not mean – do over…. just to start again on my "piles"…. in my case to try "again" to get organized…. And this time I will succeed.

  8. >Hi Ceanne,What a powerful post you wrote for yourself and for those who identify with what you wrote. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well. Thank you for your comment on my wish yesterday. I don't think I could have ever ridden my bike to work but I do admire you for doing so but I certainly can start taking my puppy for a walk each day. For awhile she was too young but since she is a very shy dog a walk will do her good in so many ways. She loves to run and play in the yard but just like people a change in scenery will do her good. Have a great week.

  9. >This is an awesome post, Ceanne! Yeah – starting over – who needs it?? I am now 43, and I often think that the world is really messed up to think that youth is so great! I love being older! I love discovering that my history makes me better than I was.My daughter is nine. At each stage of her growth, I think that I will miss her youth passing me by but I actually love the stage she moves into. OK… I must confess that when she suggested that parents probably wouldn't be allowed to go on the field trips in fourth grade it did hurt JUST A LITTLE BIT, but still I love that she is getting so grown up and finding her wings too!GREAT stuff, Ceanne. As you wish, my dear!

  10. >Thank you everyone!

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