This week, I feel like I need to “let go”. I have a few things that have been troubling me and I know that thinking of how they trouble me only keeps me in that frame of mind, so I need to let go of the troubling thoughts, or else turn them on their a$$ to see them in a more positive light.
One of the things I need to let go of, but struggle with letting go of, is a relationship I have with one of my brother’s. It’s just become hard to be around him. I feel judged negatively, I feel like he can’t see who I really am, and I feel mad about this. I have an idea of what may have caused this negativity from him–a family difficulty from 10 years ago and how we both dealt with my father’s passing–but I have tried to talk to him about it and he says there’s nothing to talk about. Yet…I get rolling eyes when I speak up in a conversation around him, or laughing to himself–little things that hurt me, and I wish they didn’t. I have tried distancing myself more from him but this hasn’t helped, because just about every time I’m around him there is some sign (eyes, grunt, laugh) that hurts me again. And…I’m sick of being hurt. Of course, I know that the fact that I’m hurt has to do with me and not with him. I can’t change him, I can only change me and how I react. But…it’s family…and it’s hard…as there are so few of us. So, even though I know I need to not let his actions bother me they do, and I don’t seem to know how to stop feeling hurt or angry. I’ve tried to love him, and prayed about sending love to this conflict as I know that love can heal this but again, I can only do this for myself and lately the scale of anger and hurt is heavier than the love.
I also need to let go of my thinking that I struggle with money. I know that this thinking also keeps me in that state of mind–struggling. And since that is not where I want to be, I need to flip it. Struggle means: battle, effort so the opposite of struggle would be peace, or ease. So…”I am at peace with money!” “Money is easy for me!”And, finally, I’m letting go of my hair (again). I’m getting my hair cut into a very, very short pixie tomorrow–similar to the picture at the top of this page. Right now, my hair is approx. shoulder length, but it gets in my eyes, in my face and when I look at myself in the mirror, it just feels and looks HEAVY. This happens to me quite often when I decide to grow my hair so I just cut it off again. I love, love, love my short hair but keeping it short can be expensive so I might just have to go with getting it cut with a razor by my friend. Well…we’ll see about that. Hello easy hair!!
Hope everyone’s week is the best ever!!!
Happy, happy holidays to all, however you celebrate this season of love, peace, and harmony!!