Tag Archives: beginnings

Beginnings

I haven’t had much time to write here this week but I wanted to share something I read that had me thinking of beginnings or newness or firsts.  I’ll share below what was written in the book “Girls Night Out” a book of short stories from many female writers.  The excerpt is from the last story “The End” which was really a sad story, but it had the following which, as I said, got me to thinking…

You can’t beat the first relaxing slide into a warm bath filled with bubbles…your first steps outside in a new pair of shoes…your first night out in a new outfit that makes you feel half the size, shiny and new…the first half hour of a movie when you’re trying to figure out what’s going on…the first few minutes of work after lunch or coffee break when you feel energized…the first few minutes of conversation after bumping into someone you have seen for years …the first kiss on a first date…
At the beginning, things are special, new exciting, innocent, untouched and unspoiled by experience or boredom…
Just thinking of what she wrote above, the new and fresh feelings that come when you experience new things made me feel good.  It started me thinking of other “new” or “firsts” that I have loved (and still do)…
– A freshly made bed – the fresh smell of the laundered sheets, the smooth cool feeling as you slide your legs between the sheets, the fresh sheet tuck that hasn’t been pulled out by your legs kicking at night.
– Jumping into the lake or pool – the cool, but exhilarating feeling, heart pounding, shrieking, but loving it and then the comfort that comes as your body adjusts to the temperature.
– As the author wrote above, the first kiss with a new love – the new smell of them, taste of them, feel of their lips on yours that, if it’s good, is VERY good…
– Freshly shampooed hair with no “product” in it
– The first bit of a good pizza – the whole pizza tastes really good, but the first bite is the best.  I actually find that with most food – it’s the first bite I love the best.
– That first drink of cold water after working very hard and you’re thirsty.  Ahhh!  Even if I get “brain freeze”, that first drink of water is soooo good!
– Getting a bit naughty here, but the very beginning of intercourse, when he first enters you.  That causes an automatic intake of breath because it feels like nothing you’ve ever felt before, but also every good feeling you’ve ever had and you never want it to stop.
– Putting on a fresh pair of socks–in the fall–when you haven’t worn socks for a while.  It’s so warm and cozy on your feet.
– The smell of freshly mown grass
– The fresh smell after a big rainfall
– The first snow that hasn’t been touched by person, animal, or vehicle.  So crisp and white…
– A new book, the first time you open it to read it, being careful not to break the spine.  The smell of the paper and type.
– Putting on freshly washed pajamas.  So soft and comforting.
– The new greenery of perennials pushing up from the ground in the spring, with you knowing this is just the beginning of the colors that are going to be alive in your garden this year
– A robin in the spring – knowing that even though there may be a bit more snow, spring is here!
– The geese flying south in the fall – knowing that the environment around you is getting ready for a winter’s nap that will refresh itself
– The crisp fresh air first thing in the morning in the fall
– Waking up on the weekend after sleeping in, the sun shining, knowing the day is yours to seize as you wish
– The first time you realize something new about yourself that is wonderful – an epiphany, or “aha” moment.
– The beginning of a new project, when you’re so excited to see how it’s going to turn out.
 
There are tons more I’m sure.  And thinking of these, make me feel happy! 
It also gets me to thinking though, of the gratitude that is also important to feel for the things that are not new or exciting or fresh…
– The truck we’ve been driving for 7 years now, but still starts first thing, gets great gas mileage, and still looks good too
– The house we bought 9 years ago that still isn’t the house of our dreams, is still a work in progress, but is our home base, our place to plug in and recharge. 
– Those shoes that have been broken in so well that your feet feel as if they could walk forever in them.
– The family that we may not have chosen if we had a choice, but are always there when we need them, love us, maybe not always accept us, but still keep coming back…because we’re family…
– The job we’ve had for 10 years that keeps changing over and over again, but you know inside and out and no matter what else is going on, you can go there and get the job done.
– The garden that has too many weeds in it, but also grows beautiful perennials
– The friends who know us as well as we know ourselves and provide a great sounding board when we’re not feeling too sure of ourself
Thanks for reading…
C.

Wishcast Wednesday – Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

Jamie Ridler’s Wishcast prompt this week is:  Where do you wish to make a fresh start?

Thinking, thinking…where is it I always wish I could have a “do over”?  Is my life too broad of an answer???

So many times, I wish I could have a “do over”, but only knowing what I know now.  I’m not sure that I wouldn’t do the same things, make the same choices/”mistakes”, if I hadn’t learned so much along the way.

So…I guess, when it really comes down to it–and it does pain me to say this–I would not start over…

I’m actually very surprised to see that in writing.  I can’t count the amount of time I have spent, wishing, “if only”:

  • if only I knew how beautiful I was, I would not have wasted it thinking I was ugly and “settling” for whatever emotionally detached guy pursued me.
  • if only I knew how smart I was, I would have continued on in University and received a degree.
  • if only I knew that my family, although they loved me, did not really know me, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying to meet their idea of who I was.  And I would not have accepted/believed the labels provided for me:  too sensitive, emotional, mentally ill, flaky, naive…
  • if only I knew that it was okay to be sensitive, emotional, flaky, I would have accepted myself so much sooner and not wasted time trying not to be.
  • if only I knew that I was creative/artistic as a young adult, I might have pursued a completely different path.
  • if only I hadn’t gained so much weight, I would have the energy to be pursing the life I want to live quicker.
  • if only I was better with my finances, I would be able to afford–whatever…

But…the most important thing is that I know all of that now!  I still have challenges accepting the above, and am still “improving”.  I still look in the mirror and say things that are not always nice about what I see there.  I still struggle when someone in my family rolls their eyes about something I say–I’ve had to learn to detach myself a bit, unfortunately, from my family.  I am becoming more and more creative every day and continue to learn more and more about myself

But, what I continue to learn is that we are each on our own path to self-discovery and that this is my path–and it’s all okay!!  Okay, I do struggle with that, even though I know it…

Now, as for creative projects, I do start over on those–but that’s the great thing, it’s okay to do that too–or even, dare I say it, chuck them!!  It all works out okay!

And, just because I collect quotes and this one is my current “mantra”, thought I’d share.  It seems appropriate…

For all that has been, “thanks”. 
For all that will be, “yes”.
– Dag Hammarskjold

Thank you!!

C.