So, I’m on this journey of growing into my best life, or creating my best life. This includes my physical health, my spiritual practice, as well as my random thoughts as I take this wonderful trip of life.
I’m starting this web journal to help myself be accountable and to share if anyone is interested. If there is anyone “out there” who “gets” anything from what I write, I hope they share their thoughts and comments with me.
A little about myself…I’m 44, a female, who started a process of getting to know myself after a breakup of a tumultuous relationship–the catalyst. I realized that I had chosen that relationship and stayed with it for so long because I had no sense of confidence in who I was. I had stayed when I knew it wasn’t good, I moved across the country when I knew it was NOT the right thing to do–left my family and everything I knew to be with someone who didn’t know how to treat me well.
I changed a lot in the course of that relationship, and when I finally reached the point that I KNEW I had to leave–for myself–I didn’t know who Ceanne was any longer. The party girl was gone, what remained was a scared, lonely person. I knew i couldn’t go back, but where to go??
That was, believe it or not, 13 years ago. Since then I’ve created a partial life, not quite what I envisioned when I was growing up–but then I’m STILL growing up.
I didn’t think I’d start by writing about my past as I don’t really spend too much time looking backwards any longer, but I read that you need to know where you are to know where you’re going, so…
A week ago, a Practitioner at my church had me do some homework as I had asked for a Spiritual Mind Treatment for “easy sleep that rejuvenates me” and “motivation to move my body more”. A recurring theme in my life is not living my priorities so she asked me to list my top 10 priorities and then track, for a week, where I spend my time”. I have my list of priorities, they are:(in no particular order)
1. My house – Keeping it clean, organized, keeping things in good working order, get rid of “tolerations” (definition below), garden, etc.
2. My “Babies” – My pets. I have a dog and 2 cats that need love, food, attention. And the dog needs to be walked regularly.
3. Crafts/Creativity – I love creating things through crochet, knitting, coloring, beading, etc., etc. Just LOVE making things with my own two hands.
4. Work – Being organized, enjoying what I do, getting good sleep so can be most effective and clear thinking, being on time.
5. Reading – I LOVE to read. My spiritual practice, fiction, personal growth/health, etc.6. Friends and Family – Talking with them (spending time with them), Facebook, church, etc.7. Spiritual Practice – Prayer, church, reading, classes, etc.
8. My health – Physical movement, nutrition, sleep, reading/learning, etc.
9. My volunteer work – Leadership committee, church, library, work activities/committee involvement.
10. Love – Finding love with a man. The following phrase is something I heard a woman describe her relationship with her husband as–and I loved it, so am copying it. “Holy, juicy, monogamous, loving” and I add friendly. I want someone to look at me with passion and love again–it’s been a long time and I miss it.
* Tolerations are those things you often let slide but every time you see/hear them you say “I should do something with that.” eg. a leaking tap, ugly carpeting that will be expensive to change, strange noise coming from your fridge, etc.I’m going to end now because I’ve already wrote more than I originally thought I would and I’m using my Eee which has an amazingly small keyboard that I’m “tolerating” typing on.
Ceanne April 17, 2009