Tag Archives: boundaries

On a clear day you can see for miles and miles…

Love the lyrics…wish I could remember the name of the song.

Life continues to be busy for me–I realize, of course, that I make it so. I am setting up positive boundaries for myself and am trying to reduce–my girth and the amount of unnecessary possessions in my house. I think there’s a book about that–“Does this clutter make my butt look big?” It’s not that I have a lot of clutter, but I realize that when I purchased this house almost 9 years ago I really had very little in it. I had just moved out of my brother’s house where I rented a bedroom, and had previously just split up from my ex where I had left most of my worldly possessions with him.

I have tried to fill my house with “stuff” and things to make me busy and projects, and, and, and… I’ve come to slowly realize that there are things in my house that I do not need–or really want for that matter–so I’m slowly going through the areas/rooms of my home and reducing. This is actually a continuation that I have done before, but now it’s just making more sense. I live in a 3 bedroom house with 2 floors and a basement, but it seems small. It’s not really big either, but for 1 person and and a couple of small animals??? It really is about the right size–as long as I continue to reduce the amount of “stuff” I have in it.

I have created a “cave”, a place to go hide from the world. Again, this is not a new realization–it’s just becoming more and more clear to me what I’ve done. Now, I’m not talking about giving up my house/home, I’m just talking about making it more “me”.

I guess for a long time I really didn’t feel I knew who “me” is. And that’s its own journey that feels more clear too–even though I think I’ve got miles and miles to go for that clarity.

Another thing that’s been happening is that I have this feeling of my “old” life and my current life converging/colliding. I’m seeing it happen through Facebook. I am seeing that people from my current life/Spiritual home are “friends” with others from a life I led a lifetime ago–a time that feels a world away from who I am now. I’m finding I’m having some feelings that I’m really not too sure what to do with. I’m the not the person I was and I wasn’t the person I am–I often feel like I have lived two different lives. And never the two shall meet, or will they? Or should they? Maybe they should?

There are some things from the person I was “then” that I miss–spontaneity, fun-loving, passionate, loving, forgiving, seemingly fearless, the size of my butt (it was big then too–at least I thought so then–but I just didn’t appreciate how I looked–silly girl), hopeful, dreamy, . And there are things that, until very recently, I wished away. I have carried guilt, shame, and anger from that time in my life to now. And now, there is so much about myself that I love–intelligence, logic, openness, love, acceptance, connection to Spirit, but the size of my butt has really gotten out of hand!

Maybe…and this is just a new thought to me–which may be totally obvious to others but…Maybe…the “best” me is those two “worlds” combined. Maybe that’s part of creating my best life???

Creating Boundaries (from Weebly May 18, 2009)

So…It’s been a while since I posted anything again. The reason that the title of this blog is called “Creating Boundaries” is for various reasons. The first of which is creating boundaries with myself for the things that I commit too. Like this blog. I am having a hard time writing something every day or even once a week. There are certainly lots of things to write about, this life journey has been pretty exciting–and I use that both in a positive sense and a negative sense. So, it’s not for lack of content to fill here.

I’m going to try to be brief (yes…me…brief…), but I’m going to share a couple of the things that I can put here:

1. Family – I’m not sure why family relations are so hard to maintain in a positive lite. I know it’s just not family, but I also know that the reason our family has difficulties is because of our individual processing of information that the rest just don’t seem to “get”. And if we can accept our differences–rather than trying to point them out,then family time would be much more comfortable for all. So, I’m in the process of setting up another boundary–accept me as I am.

2, My Health – I have NOT been taking care of myself properly. I am eating too much of the type of food that does not add any value to my physical being–it only adds fat. I know that this fat is a boundary in itself, but I want that boundary gone. I am strong enough to create boundaries using my personal strength of character and spirit. Enough with the excess weight! I am so…………..sick…………….. and………………. tired…………………. of ………….it!!! I am currently at my all time highest weight, by 10 lbs!!! And have hit a number that I thought I’d NEVER hit!

3. My home – I have not been taking proper care of my home either. I haven’t vacuumed in over two weeks–this wouldn’t normally be a problem but I’ve had dogs in and out with muddy feet and I have little bits of mud throughout the house. I haven’t made my bed in over a week. These are two things that I usually have a much better “control” over. Of course, in the grand scheme of things this is not the end of the world. The rest of my house is mostly tidy and clean. I guess I’ve just been focusing on what’s NOT done in my house instead of what is. The boundary issue for this is allowing my house to not be in the tidy and clean state that my boundary usually is.

That’s all for now, except to say that I may have some good news later in the week. I’ve put in for a new job position at work and hope to find out this week if I get it.

Thanks!

C.