Tag Archives: dreams

Wishcast Wednesday – How do you wish to grow older?

Hmmmm.  Jamie Ridler has done it again with a Wishcast prompt that has me imagining my beautiful self as I age with grace…

How do you wish to grow older?

Some days I feel a LOT older than I’d like.  Up until fairly recently, I still felt like I was in my 20’s, not the 45ish years I’ve spent on this earth.  Recently, I’ve felt all of those 45 years and they can feel painful and heavy, but they can also feel like great experience, accomplished, etc.

The picture I have in my mind of growing older, and so the answer to the question “How do you wish to grow older?”, is:

– in/with grace (love that word!!)
– in joy
– in anticipation
– in health
– in faith
– humbly
– living my best life!

The simple rose, at each moment of its slow blossoming is as open as it can be. The same is true of our lives. In each stage of our unfolding, we are as stretched as possible. For the human heart is quite slow to blossom, and is only seen as lacking when compared to the imagined lover or father or mother we’d like to become.

It helps to see ourselves as flowers. If a flower were to push itself open, which it can’t, it would tear. Yet we humans can and often do push ourselves too much. Often we tear in places no one can see. When we push ourselves to unfold faster or more deeply than is natural for us, we thwart ourselves. For nature takes time, and most of our problems stem from impatience. – Mark Nepo

Many knotted and crooked trees reach old age, naturally perfect, because they are useless to the house builder.- Chungliang al Huang and Jerry Lynch
– Mentoring, the TAO of Giving and Receiving Wisdom

Compared to the age of the Universe, you are new to Nature.  No one can really predict to what heights you might soar.  Even you will not know until you spread your wings.  – Gil Atkinson

It all began with a dream…

So, a friend of mine at my church – The Centre for Conscious Living, in Winnipeg, Manitoba – who is very creative, fun, and inspiring, started an adventure for people to sign up to (see her page on the sidebar, ABC Creativity). This adventure is called “Creative Dreamers”.

I signed on to do this a few weeks ago but have been “busy” with other things so haven’t had the time (or made the time) to start. Today, I took some time on my lunch break to start the ball rolling. I added a “list” to my sidebar and will keep my dreams listed there so they will be visible all the time!

I’m pretty excited, but noticed too that when I first started my preliminary list (that is written in my Visioning Journal) they were was not specific…”Increase my income”, “Find love”, etc. So…I’m redoing them slowly, thinking about each one and what it is I really want for each preliminary “dream”. As they become specific I’ll add them to my list on the sidebar.

That’s it for today. I really need to work on spending more time here–maybe that could be a dream?!?! I’ll add it right away!


Envy – A useful emotion (from Weebly April 14/09)

So…accountability starts today…

I’m on holidays this week, taking a break and trying to get caught up on sleep, etc. My iron has been really low and I have had no energy so wanted to use this week to begin taking better care of myself.

I feel the need to start with something that happened to me the other day…I had a very huge feeling of envy.

A family friend has taken a year sabbatical from work to learn French and wanted it to live in a country where French was its native language to help his learning. He had done this once before when he was in his early twenties to learn Spanish.

So, he’s working in Togo, Africa for the first three months and then going to France for the last three months of his experience. In Africa, he’s teaching the native children English. I was checking out his website the other day and had these huge feelings of envy that I was very uncomfortable about. I have worked very hard to understand that other people’s good lives do not diminish mine in any way and I am usually very happy for people who are fulfilling their dreams.

But…the picture brought back long, lost feelings of a time when I was a teenager and wanted to work all over the world helping communities, being of service. There was not just one reason why I didn’t follow this dream. It could have been others “poo-pooing” my idea, my own fears, etc. And I was feeling that my lie now has many responsibilities: my house, my pets, my job, my loans, etc.

I was telling one of the Practitioners from my church about these feelings and she reminded me that I could still live that dream by having a working holiday (that wasn’t the term she used, but it’s what’s coming to my mind right now). Her mother had apparently done a two-week stint working in a community to be of service. This was a revelation for me and I was thankful that I could one day–when the time is right–take such a holiday.

Today, however, I realized something else. When I was a teenager I had a period of mental illness–no other way to put it. I had anxiety attacks and illogical thoughts of people trying to hurt me. There really was no way that I could have left my family for an extended period of time at that juncture in my life–I was not emotionally “fit”.

Now, however, I have done so much internal “work” and am so much stronger emotionally than I have ever been in my life I know that I could take a holiday and live/exist in another culture and just revel in it.

What the lesson is for me is just remembering how far I’ve really come specifically in these last thirteen years of personal growth.

It’s validation for a lot of things that I still would like to accomplish for myself such as releasing the weight I’ve added to my body over the past 15 years (over 150 lbs), and knowing that being in a loving relationship is something that I can finally give myself over to. There are a few other “things” but these two are major for me.

Thanks for being here!