Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. – Anais Nin
Jamie Ridler has a gift of chosing the perfect Wishcast prompt! I so see many other Wishcasters say the same thing. She has certainly done it again this week for me.
This week’s Wishcast prompt is…
How do you wish to be brave?
Before I respond, I just want to thank you for visiting my new (under construction) Ceanne’s Best Life blog. I’m now using WordPress, which I’ve heard very good reviews on. I’ve adapted this blog so it’s very similar in feel to my old blogger site but I still have more that I’m in the process of doing to make it “ME”. It’ll be a slow development but I’m excited about it. So…welcome!!
To respond to Jamie’s prompt this week, I need to talk about a huge decision I made last week in joining a 12 step program to work through my compulsive overeating. This is where I want to be brave…working through the process of learning about why I eat the way I do and the process of learning a way to help still the neediness in me.
The last week was not easy but it was easier than I thought it would be. I’m still working through some of the literature, it’s hard to be honest sometimes in the words that a 12 step program uses. I’m learning though…
One thought that came to me this morning was “if I was ill and couldn’t eat a certain thing then I wouldn’t”. And I see my overeating of certain foods the same way–those foods make me ill. Eating them holds me back from living my full potential, from being “well”.
An example would be–and I’m being brutally honest here–that most Friday’s I would stop by the store and pick up a bag of potato chips–not the small indivual size, but the next size up. Probably 1500 calories in each bag (or more). I would eat that and then some each Friday, stay up until at least 1 or 2:00am (often later) and then fall into a restless sleep and wake up the next morning still feeling worn out (with a food hangover is how I described it). This has been going on for years. This last Friday, I knew I could not repeat that pattern so I chose to do something different–drove right past the local grocery store, got home and made myself a healthy dinner, and then did crafts while watching TV (I’ve just taken up origami to add to my craft repetoire). By midnight, I was ready for bed and had a very good sleep. I woke up the next morning actually feeling refreshed! I had some energy that I used in productive ways before I went to my part-time job in the afternoon.
Since then, I’ve been more tired than usual, however, but I think that’s just the changes my body and mind are going through. I’m also more emotional than “normal” but that’s also to be expected since I’ve been “stuffing” my feelings for so long.
I’m going to apologize here if I’m being a downer in any way…this is just where I am right now…working through years of habits and compulsions. And for that I certainly need to be brave!
Thanks as always for listening and you support!! As you wish for yourself, I also wish for you all!
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. – Aristotle