Tag Archives: trust

Morning Pages – May 9, 2011

Julia Cameron talks about morning pages in her book and on her site “The Artists Way”.  I also recently heard about 750 Words through Jamie Ridler who talks about doing Morning Pages in May.

So, I love this idea of morning pages, but I don’t really know where to begin…

I’m doing a lot of OA work, which is amazing–I feel myself shifting and I feel miracles happening in my life, yet outwardly not much seems to have changed. Although I’ve lost 17.4 lbs so far.

I guess that’s spirituality though. It’s a very internal process of learning and growing and “remembering”. I say remembering because I truly feel that we are “spiritual beings having a human experience” and that while we live on Earth, some “remember” that we’re a spiritual being and led to who we really are. I’m not sure why it is that we “forget” our spirituality upon birth–or possibly we know it at birth but we forget as we mature. I wish I hadn’t forgotten because sometimes the journey has been hard. But the lessons are positive growth.

I’ve heard it said that some people learn by soft touches, and others by [kicks in the a$$]. I have always been of the kick in the a$$ category. I believe I’m on a path to change that though. My hope is that as I continue on this path, that feels so right, that I give up my willfulness and have more willingness to be open to my inner God-voice.

To go back to the “remembering” of being a spiritual being. I believe I’m remembering because, as I spiritually mature and learn, the things I learn feel familiar–as if I’ve already or always known it.  I have often used the analogy of the Monarch butterfly for remembering spirituality.  The Monarch butterfly knows, without being born there, that they need to migrate to Mexico–they just know.

I’m not talking about reincarnation though. It’s like I’m coming home…

I’m not sure how I feel about reincarnation. A part of me believes in it. I once read a Melody Beattie book in where she travelled to different parts of the world as part of her spiritual journey. If I remember correctly, she talked about karma and how we are all put back on Earth over and over until we “get it” (full enlightenment). Each time we learn more and more–like stages or tiers in our personal growth–maybe that’s where the “remembering” comes from.

That makes sense to me because one of my cousins, for instance, was not spiritual at all and lived a complete victim existence. It appeared as if he could not see any life except the one he saw in front of his eyes. And the life in front of his eyes was a terrible one and it was never his fault (from his perspective). He ended up drinking himself to death at a fairly early age. From what I could tell he lived his life not “getting it” at all. My hope is that he does get a “do-over” and can come back to Earth with a more open and willing spirit, that he both receives and gives of the riches possible on this Earth.

As for me, I don’t think I’m near completely “getting it” but I do feel like I’m on a path that is leading to some enlightenment. All I can do is keep trying to be open to learning and developing myself. To keep trying to be the best person I can be. To keep trying to know that I don’t need to be like others, or have particular items in my life to be complete. To keep trying to listen to my inner God-voice and to trust. To trust…

It’s not easy for me to trust or be as trusting as I think I should be or want to be. I have thrown myself open in the past and been terribly hurt. The difference from then to now is, before I didn’t really have a sense of self so when I opened myself up I became swallowed by the other’s desires for who I should be. And I lost myself.

It’s taken me a long, long time to get to the point where I am–knowing myself and learning to love me for me.

I am still a “work in progress” bu I really feel that the work I’m doing now is opening me up to more and more wonderful things. And, all the work I have done over the last 20 years has gotten me to this point in time. A time of being ready to possibly/probably being open and brave and courageous enough to live out loud, at least just a little bit…

(I did a word count, and without realizing it, reached 798!)


Weekly Intention – Trust

I have started many blog posts over the past few weeks but when I read them over, have found that they don’t contain the vibe I hope to be creating with this blog.  The last several weeks have found me very tired, lacking energy and motivation, and not as positive as I’d like to be.  I certainly understand that we all go through these types of periods from time to time and I also believe I know why this is affecting me now.  I just wanted to share this as I have not been writing as many posts as I would have hoped over the last several weeks.

So…this leads me to this week’s intention–thanks Andrea!!.  I’m still sticking with the same “theme” of trust, faith, believing…as I’m going through a situation at work with a duty to accommodate for me.  I have had environmental/chemical sensitivities since I was a teenager but over the last 20 years has progressively gotten worse.  I now have an issue at work that I need to have accommodated but the process has been more onerous that I thought it would be. This situation has also caused me more stress than I would have liked it to–hence the trust, faith, believing intentions.  I know that my life is heading in the “right” direction for me to live me best life and that any perceived obstacle by me is a part of the process.  The problem is that as a human being, I tend to be more reactionary than my spiritual being is. 
So…I am sending my trust, faith, and belief into the Universe, knowing that it’s response to me is my best life! 

Weekly Intention – Faith

Thanks to Andrea at ABC Creativity for the reminder of setting a weekly intention to help guide me on the path towards my best life.

This week, the old standard of “keeping the faith” is reminding me that I don’t need to be in control of every thing in my life and that letting go is sometimes the very best choice for me to make.  Just trust in God and the Universe that my best life will unfold as I make the “right” decisions to move forward.
It’s very hard for me to let go and to trust as I have had so many people control my life–from childhood into adulthood–that I have huge boundaries where I can control my life.
Of course, I know that the amount of control I feel I need to have over my life is over the top so I continue to work at keeping faith and trusting that life is unfolding as it should.
In a lot of ways, my control has actually limited my life as fear makes too many of my decisions.
There is a lot going on at work lately which has caused me to have a lot of stress and feel out of control.  This has been going on for the last few months and it is really affecting my health.  If I could let go, trust, and have faith, then perhaps I could be living my best life with more of a sense of security than I am.  I could let go of limiting behaviors and beliefs and open my heart and mind to possibilities that I can’t even think of.
I heard something this weekend that struck a cord in me.  It’s simple but really made me think…
Change is growth.  – Jamie Salé
Thanks and have a great week!

Intention – Keep on moving

This week’s intention for Andrea Schroeder is “movement” and that is close to what comes up for me when I think about what I want to focus on this week.  

My intention is to “keep moving”–in a physical, mental, emotional, dicovery…way. 
I keep moving my body to help it get stronger and stronger and healthier and healthier.  I keep moving in a mental, emotional, discovery way so that I keep moving forward, upward, onward to my best life and learning about myself in the process.
Last week’s intention was “trusting the process” and it was a bit of a struggle.  There’s a lot of change going on with my workplace right now and I’m not sure where I’m going to end up when all of the changes are done.  I’ll have a job, but I want to make sure that it’s meaningful work” and that it’s a challenge, rewarding, and has room for “moving”.  I had some trouble trusting this process last week and felt I had to do some things to assert/protect myself due to the changes.  I’m still not sure how it’s all going to work out, but I need to trust that it will…